I'm Hormonal | PCOS, periods, gut + hormone health insights

Cycle Syncing & Life Transitions with Kasia Stiggelbout, Founder of In Flow | Ep. 82

• Bridget Walton, Women's Hormone Coach • Episode 82

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This (part two!) episode centers on the importance of understanding and embracing the cycles of womanhood, from menstruation to motherhood and aging. Bridging personal stories with broader societal themes, Bridget and Kasia discuss the duality of grief and celebration at each life stage and offer practical resources for women to live in harmony with their cycles.

Kasia is the founder of In Flow and host of the podcast, The Other Way. Listen to The Other Way and check out In Flow's flagship product, a personalized planner that uses your menstrual cycle (or the moon cycles) to offer tailored guidance in aligning your plans with your cycle.

Discount code: 15% off with code BRIDGET15.

• Understanding the journey from maiden to mother 
• Celebrating transitions and recognizing grief 
• Embracing aging and societal views on wrinkles 
• Exploring the concept of spirit babies 
• Practical tips from the In Flow planner for cycle syncing 
• Encouragement for daily embodiment and self-awareness

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to I'm Hormonal, your source of information about women's hormone health and how to support your body. Naturally, I'm your host, bridget Walton, and I'm a certified functional hormone specialist and menstrual cycle coach. I am on a mission to hold these hormone conversations with as many menstruators as possible, because you deserve easier access to accurate information about what's up with your unruly menstrual cycle and with your fertility mysteries. Don't you think it's time that we figure this out once and for all? Hey guys, welcome to this 81st episode of I'm Hormonal. I'm your host, bridget Walton, and on today's episode this is going to be a continuation of the conversation I had with Kasia Stigelbaup. She's the founder of Inflow. You can check out the first half of our conversation in episode number 70, not 70, 80, which came out on Tuesday this week. So if you haven't listened to that yet, then jump back and listen to that before you check out today's episode. I think you're really going to love it. We talked about living cyclically, both on the personal level when it comes to your menstrual cycle, your phase of life, your family's cycle, when it comes to these more like macro types of cycles. So a little bit different from my normal episode, although we do still have some like real tangible takeaways when it comes to getting in tune with your body. You'll also learn a little bit more about me in this one. I think I shared a bit more than I normally do, so hopefully you will enjoy that and getting to know who this is talking to you all these days or weeks or however long you've been listening. So that reminds me. Thank you so much for listening, thanks for checking out the podcast, for sharing it with your sisters and your friends and your coworkers and your patients and whoever else that you guys have been sharing the podcast with. So I am super grateful to you and just so appreciative. One quick note for you too, because I know that you don't listen to only this one podcast. You can also listen to Kasha's podcast. It's called the Other Way. She has new episodes that are coming out like right now. She has new episodes that are coming out Like right now. She has a new season that's out. So if you liked last week's episode and our conversation, if you liked today's episode, then check out the Other Way through Apple Podcasts or through Spotify.

Speaker 1:

I think I'm going to just cut off my disclaimers there for today. No, no, one important one. As always, the information I share with you is for educational purposes only. It shouldn't be used as a replacement for any sort of medical diagnosis advice or any other sort of one-on-one support. So I don't think we'll get those wires crossed today, although we shouldn't any day, but you know that I need to say it. Okay, gang, I hope you enjoyed this conversation between me and Kasia. If you like the sounds of our planner, which I know that you will, then you can go to the link in the show notes, check out her website, her inflows website, and you can use code Bridget15 to get 15% off of your planner. Okay, gang, enjoy. How do you think cycle syncing might change for you in the next whatever period of time year, five years or ten years or for society? Like kind of on the macro level? Like what do you think about how cycle syncing might change?

Speaker 2:

well, I mean, there are a few things that come to mind for me. First of all. I don't know that we talked about this, but I'm on like a fertility journey, so I will not have a cycle for a while if all goes well, like in the best of ways. But I'm really so. First of all, there's like that whole aspect of it where you know, if we kind of zoom out and we look at the cycles of a female's life and we look at like the transition from girl to maiden I'm in like that maiden to mother cycle transition, and then after that comes, like you know, mother and mother is more of like the figurative, just era of life you can be a mother even without children, right, but transitioning into that stage, and then from there you have mother to crone, um, and then crone to wise woman, right, um?

Speaker 2:

and for the maiden to mother transition, and this is something that I don't think a lot of people always talk about when they think about these transitions. There's so much to be celebrated, but there also is a lot of grief, and that is something that I would really encourage women to think about, not just in their own lives as they transition during any of these stages, but also if you have daughters that are transitioning to girl and to maiden. Like there is so much to be celebrated, but there is also something that is being lost as we move into this next phase. And I think for a while I really resisted transitions, almost like putting the brakes on, of not wanting things to change, or oh, that's a nice Zoom thing, oh, that's a nice zoom thing, um, not wanting things to change, or really like focusing on only the celebration stuff or getting locked in the grief, because I was really, you know, grieving what was lost without thinking about the fact that this is also a rite of passage and there's beauty there.

Speaker 2:

So that's to say that the notion that grief is not a bad thing, it's actually quite a good thing. It comes on the flip side of loving an era of your life, or loving an experience and really appreciating it, and with that also that can transmute into something new. So I guess, to answer your question, a big theme for me, as I think about cycles, I'm thinking about cycles of life like cycles of, you know, the changing phases of life as a woman and leaning into change as opposed to feeling stagnant. And I apply that to a lot of things like even aging, body wrinkles, like you know, being in like different phases of my career, you know, and that can be hard at times. But that that's really where I'm at in terms of the next evolution of cycles.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's interesting, what you said about the wrinkles, because that is the cycle that comes to mind for me that people are the most resistant of of all of the cycles. I wonder if you agree with that. But that is one that we as a society just love to push back on and keep at arm's length keep at arm's length.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think it also goes.

Speaker 2:

First of all, I so relate to this and, just to be clear, like I have good days and bad days, like at my silent meditation retreat, considering I had like no external stimulus, I think I spent like a total of 10 hours like fixating on a wrinkle that I had.

Speaker 2:

So like by no means am I saying I figured this out, I'm just saying I'm like aware of it and leaning into this discomfort.

Speaker 2:

But I think this goes back to what we were saying at the very beginning, right, where just bringing awareness to our lives in the context of our lives being cycles of evolution and having those cycles change and ever be changing it kind of is almost contrary to what the dominant paradigm celebrates in our culture, right, which is that the era of really maidenhood is the most celebrated, right, and this is like the most productive time, the most fertile time, the youngest time, and it's almost like we're trying to freeze ourselves there.

Speaker 2:

Right, in terms of optimizing for output and productivity, like that is the figurative, you know, summer of our world, like spring and summer, but you can't hold on to just spring and summer, right, like if you have constant sun, without rain or without the coolness of any other seasons. You know you burn out, but also it's it's. It's a bit unrealistic because life just doesn't work that way. Um, so I think it really comes back to that that we're all kind of whole. Not we're all, but we are from a cultural point of view, and this comes into marketing and what it is that we celebrate. We really celebrate that one season and there's so many gifts of the other seasons to be had as well that we're just missing out on if we don't celebrate that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's overlooked. Do you watch by chance the Golden Bachelor? The Golden Bachelor. Oh my gosh, yes, yes. Okay, let's start a podcast and talk about the Golden Bachelor series, but that just is something that's salient for me and, like you know, celebrating a different time in life. You know celebrating a different time in life and I think that's been really sweet to see, because that's not something I'm, like, exposed to very much myself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm curious in San Diego. San Diego has a retirement community. Has retirement population right or no? Not really, or is it like more of a young crowd?

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I mean both. There are definitely some retirement communities, for sure. But if I had to balance it out, I would say balance younger. But I might just be biased, since I think I'm towards that end of the scale. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think about that a lot because so I live in Northern California, right In Silicon Valley, and there's just such a. It really skews towards like a much younger, like the maiden era male female kind of maiden era, and that makes sense because it's innovation.

Speaker 2:

You have people coming out of college here and stuff like that, but I just I think about you know there's, there are just gifts to be that we've lost from spending time with people of different, of different ages, especially older people too, and um, so I, I just I think that there's something really special and I'm I'm genuinely excited about each phase, like I'm excited right now for this next phase of, uh, mothering and I wasn't before at all.

Speaker 1:

Oh, interesting, oh, yeah, oh yeah, okay, cause I was going to ask you like how do you think that your perspective has has changed over time, or your relationship to the transitions has changed over time, as you are transitioning, of course?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for motherhood specifically in this case. Yeah, by the way, are you on the fence, if I may ask, or do you want kids? Do you not want kids? Do you not know? Do you not want to talk about that?

Speaker 1:

I'm okay to talk about it. This is something I've been talking about lately with my boyfriend because I'm like, hey, dog, we should probably think critically about this. And just like you know, because I'm kind of on the fence in that I know that it would be a really beautiful, fulfilling experience to have a kiddo. But also, if I'm like so much like shouldn't I feel more passionate about it if I'm going to change like every single aspect of my life? You know what I mean. So, anyway, a long short answer, kind of long.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so on the fence type of deal right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I'm like curiously looking on both sides so I can try to make an informed decision.

Speaker 2:

It's so hard. I mean it is so hard. Well, I mean one thing I will share, that kind of blew my mind I was talking to a podcast guest about this is that most women are not exposed to a lot of other women who have babies until they have a kid. Well, I think about myself. Maybe this is not the case for you, but I think about myself and my group of friends. I mean, I can count on one hand the amount of babies that I've ever held in my life. They're just not that many. Is it different for you?

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah, my jaw was hanging open, which I don't know why. That was my reaction, but it just reminded me of last year. My sister came to visit and she came to book club with me and my friends and some of the girls in book club have kids and she had mentioned that she's never held a baby before and I was like I've held like 50 to 100 babies.

Speaker 2:

Okay, you are evolved. When was this? Were you a nurse in a past life? What just happened?

Speaker 1:

I don't know, I mean, I think like maybe just being in the military they're like people have babies younger because people are getting married younger in the military. So I feel like I just always and some of my friends like one of my best friends has a grand like her grandkids are babies right now. So like I feel like I have more of a, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So like I feel like I have more of a I don't know Okay, so I take that back, I mean, but I think as a maybe it's a specific New York, San Francisco type of thing, I don't know what it is, because most of my friends, like we've discussed this.

Speaker 2:

They kind of agree with that where, like I, what your sister said I truly have held a baby like once or twice and it was like like I hope I don't kill this thing, you know, but I was on the fence about having kids for a really long time too, and it only really shifted about a year ago. So I mean, I started thinking about it a couple of years ago, but I went back and forth and there was definitely like an element of grief, of like do I want to let go of this older part of my life to shift into this new phase? But now I'm really excited about the evolution. I'm also scared. There are going to be so many things that are going to be different. There's also so much unknown. But it is also exciting in the sense that I will be witnessing and bringing to life like a new cycle of life right.

Speaker 2:

So I'll be at the very beginning with another being, and I think that is really exciting too, especially as I look at my parents aging this new young baby. There's just something really beautiful about that, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I think so too. Like just pouring all of your love and attention and like teaching your new little one to be a human and thrive on planet earth. I think would be a really special experience. But I also understand what you mean when you say that you kind of like have to grieve all of the other opportunities that you forego just naturally, as you would with any other type of decision that you make, about moving to one city or another city or taking one job over another job.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent, a hundred percent. And there is like also a real changeable or not sorry, like a real tangible physical, mental, spiritual change that happens right, like it's like an evolution of you. You don't usually undo becoming like a mother, like you're a mother, like you're no longer a non-mother, you're like somebody's mom, like you know you're Betty's mom, like that's, like that's going to stick, stick with you. It's, it's a real thing. Yeah, but I have a lot of friends who choose not to have kids and I definitely was also in that bucket for a very long time. And then it, now I'm like solidly on the other side and I'm like, well, I hope I'll be lucky enough to have that happen. We'll see.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, have a sweet little babe. What are some of the like kind of woo things that apply to this transition into motherhood but cycles as a whole, that maybe we haven't talked about, that you have up your sleeve or that you'd love to suggest to folks out there?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean this could also apply to you to see if it's resonant, as you kind of sit on the fence. But have you heard of spirit babies?

Speaker 1:

I have, I think Let me try to tell you what I think they are Okay, which is actually I can't even do that A spirit, no, actually, okay, go ahead, I'll tell you, I'll tell you.

Speaker 2:

So basically it's based off of. There's a book called Spirit Babies by a guy named Walter and I'm blanking on his last name, it might have been like Erickson or something, but he was a spiritual medium who has has passed since, since this has been published and, um, this was quite a long time ago that the book was published, but it's based on the concept that, um, before conception, like, uh, the essences or the souls of the, uh, the babies that are kind of linked to us or our partners can kind of be connected with, or that they're kind of in our aura or radius or they're like kind of moving, like within our vicinity in some way, and so you can meditate and potentially connect with these beings right.

Speaker 2:

And so in some cases you may connect with a being that is not, you know, not meant to come through you in this lifetime, might be for another lifetime, depends on what you believe. But this is definitely on the woo side, kind of exploring this connection, and I definitely did quite a bit of reflection on that as I made my decision last year and, by the way, like I'm like a Capricorn science focused woo person, so I appreciate both sides. This is not like the typical meditation that I follow. I would say this is more like esoteric concentration of some sort, but it can be really helpful for those who are on the fence to like see what happens when you kind of explore that area. How does that land? Is that the craziest thing you've heard all week? It's only Tuesday, so it could be.

Speaker 1:

It's only Tuesday. I think it could be up there on the list, but that reminded me kind of where I've heard it before of people not people that I know, but through podcasts who have talked about having dreams and like meeting their baby in their dreams and kind of like knowing that, like that's their baby, and then, you know, soon falling pregnant and then giving birth to this beautiful baby. So that's, that's the background that I had for it. Is that kind of that aligns with everything that you're?

Speaker 2:

Yes, definitely, and there's a really great resource for this Emily the medium, emily Green. She has a book. She's like a couple of books out. She um. You can find her on Instagram by, I think it's, emily the medium. She talks a lot about spirit babies. She also has a podcast on it. So it's definitely a great rabbit hole to go down for anyone that's on the fence, or also not on the fence, and like pretty clear that this is their path. But that's definitely more of the woo side. But you know, I have to say that I am more of a kind of I'm trying to lean into the just the understanding and like really feeling into impermanence and not controlling the outcomes of things. So I'm not as like pulled to that stuff right now, if that makes sense you know like just to allow what what will happen will happen, type of thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, a lot easier said than done. I imagine A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Well, we've been chatting for so long now. We haven't even talked about your planner, which really ties back to almost everything that we have been talking about when it comes to living in cyclical bodies and cyclical societies and all of that good stuff. So do you want to share a little bit more about your planner and kind of who it's for?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I'll start with who it's for. This is really a tool that I wish existed. Well, when I was at Microsoft for sure, you know, back in the day we kind of talked about this briefly, but I spent over a decade working in tech at various startups startups and I would have, as I would like to say, like a on paper pretty pretty, I guess a life that I was very proud of, but physically I felt extremely detached from that. I think the, the way that I was operating, as we talked about at the beginning, was truly just going through cycles of hustle and then burnout, hustle and burnout, and there was just kind of a point in my career where I realized that it didn't matter if I had accomplished all these things, If I didn't have my health. I didn't have anything, and I really wanted to find a different way to operate, and so inflow is really the tool that I wish existed for me during that time.

Speaker 2:

I say it's for the woman that is looking for really tangible, practical guidance to practice everything we talked about. It's a planner that is based in cycle syncing. You start it on day one of your menstrual cycle or, if you don't bleed, you can also use it symbolically with the cycles of the moon, which are quite connected to the menstrual cycle. Or, if you don't bleed, you can also use it symbolically with the cycles of the moon, which are quite connected to the menstrual cycle, and it walks you through small tweaks you can make every single day in the context of your everyday life. So a lot of the wellness practices and I say that in air quotes that we do fall outside of work, it's like the thing we do in the morning for five minutes or as we wind down. But the idea here is like how can we cultivate embodiment and awareness through the entire day? And so my hope is that Inflow helps women do that, Definitely does that for me.

Speaker 1:

It definitely is a good tool to help make it just a normal part of life, not something on the to-do list or, like you said, something that you do for five minutes here and 10 minutes there and really having it be like ingrained with your life because your cycle is one with your life.

Speaker 2:

I love, too, that it has reminders for, like, different foods that would be good for each part of your cycle, or what like you have a Spotify playlist in one of them for different things, so it has so many good reminders and just other tools to get you in sync with your body yeah, and like movement tips and it really offers what I would say is a menu where you can just choose one thing right, like perhaps it's you know eating flax seeds, or choosing to choose a Pilates class that day or go for a walk.

Speaker 2:

Instead of high intensity, I think it just brings back awareness to where you're at and what are small nudges that you can make. For any of the women out there that might be listening to this, that might be like just a smidge curious. I think the one thing I just want to emphasize is that our bodies are extremely wise and putting her in the driver's seat occasionally, I think, will lead to some beautiful gifts in your life, and I've definitely seen that to be the case in my own. So I wish that for every woman listening to just experiment with it. It doesn't have to be for weeks at a time. It could just be for your next meal or for the next day to tune into what's going on and how can you meet yourself where you're at.

Speaker 1:

Where can listeners connect with you from here?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, so you can definitely check out the planner at inflowplannercom, so that's super easy and I'm sure you'll put that in the show notes. But I am also loosely on Instagram and you can find me at inflow planner, or also I have an Instagram handle for the podcast that I'm very passionate about, which is the other way. It's a podcast that explores a lot of what we talked about paths less taken, shares, the stories of mostly women that explore alternative paths in work, in life, in spirituality. We talk a lot about the whole feminine experience of cyclical living in the context of health and birthing and all the things. So birthing, creative projects, birthing babies, all the things. We cover bits and pieces of that, as well as bring on some pretty exceptional researchers as well to cover all those topics, and so you can find that podcast on Spotify and Apple, and it's the other way.

Speaker 1:

All right, gang. That is it for today. Kasia, thank you so much for hanging with me. Listener, thank you so much for hanging with the both of us. Don't forget to check out the link in the show notes head over to Inflow's site so you can check out the planner. You can use code Bridget15 to get 15% off and also check out Kasia's podcast the Other Way you can find it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. New episodes coming out here over these next couple of weeks for her new season, so I hope that you love listening to her podcast too. Okay, thank you again and I will see you on the next one.